株式会社フロムスリー - 200705のエントリ

 

ペンギン・ノート - 200705のエントリ

56歳の連休

2007-5-4 2:30
バレンタインデーが終った。
幸いなことに学校関係者から3個と昔から付き合いのある女性から1個いただいた。
別にチョコレートを食べたいわけではないが、もらえなければ即「負け組」という風潮があり、精神的に厄介だなと思っている。
うまく人の劣等感を刺激するものだ。
その共犯者に女性層を巻き込んでいるのだから、男として無碍に否定もできず。
これで1ヶ月後に、ホワイトデーだからお返しをと言われたりするわけで、ますます男に逃げ場がなくなりそうだ。
お返しなんて、負け組には無理だ。
そうなると、男は勝ち組でなければ相手にされないということになるかもしれない。

何だよ、勝ち組、負け組って。
1年365日、毎日こんな分け方されながら生きないといけないのか。
最近、私はどちらなのかとよく思う。
人の評価を聞く範囲では、私は勝ち組のようだ。
同じ世代のほとんどが、もはや未来を感じさせないのに比べ、私は未来の夢物語を嬉しそうに語る稀有な存在らしい。
だから、勝ち組?

本音を言えば、負け組と言われている、未来を感じさせない連中の方が、私より老後の設計はできていると思うのだ。
私にはそんな設計らしきものは何もない。
自分の老後を見てくれそうな人も今はいない。
まるでキリギリスである。
それらしく光って見えるかもしれないが、老後は悲惨かもしれない。
せっかくの蓄えを道楽に注ぎ込んで、などと揶揄されかねないのが今の私だ。
さて、冬の寒さに不遇をかこつ、そんなキリギリスになってしまうのか。
勝ち組でも負け組でもいい、静かに過ごせる老年であればと切に願う次第である。

大阪では毎日「今里筋線」を使って、湊町へ。世の中から置いていかれそうになるのではという危機感が募りはじめている、安部邦雄
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